My new years resolution

I’ve been thinking about my new years resolutions. A few days ago I had them firmly set in my head, but I’m no longer entirely sure what they were. The question that I have been wondering about is how does one arrive at new years resolutions? If one wants to set firm and achievable goals for the year, surely it’s not merely process of plucking random ideas out the great beyond.

I guess some people set their goals according to what they aspire to. Your classic blonde may set her goals after flipping through her collection of December fashion mags. Other people may set their goals after a process of introspection. The failing student may decide that long nights in the Rat may be the key to understanding his or her poor academic record, and therefore abstain from certain behaviour – ie the second drink of the evening which always leads to the third. For others the process of setting new years goals may be a far more positive process, I can imagine that Conrad has decided to redouble his efforts in the gym as he is pleased with his gradual transformation into the incredible Hulk.

As for me, well I think my new years resolutions have been affected by those around me. I recognise behaviour in some that pleases me, and that I wish to emulate, and behaviour amongst others that really bothers me. I’m not sure about all the factors that shape one’s identity, and the process could well differ between people, but I have a strong sense that my identity is shaped by what I see in others.

My years resolutions for 2009 have therefore been shaped by my reactions to other, and two people in particular; neither of whom seem to be absorbing anything from their Korean experience.

Sometimes when I’m feeling bitter and upset I wonder how close I am to viewing Korea in the same light as them. After which I redouble my efforts to accept Korea for what it is: a very different country with different smells, tastes and experiences; not all of which can simply be judged against our bank of memories from home.

I strongly believe that tastes smells and experiences, where ever one may be, exist in their own right – that is to say: we cannot simply judge Korean food, for example, against Western food and then simply discard Korean food as unlikable simply because it does not match one’s established tastes.

I’m unsure whether I am managing to express myself clearly. What I am trying to convey is more a feeling than clearly formulated idea, but I’m convinced I’m onto something. The people I like most are rarely loud and brash, they are normally slightly reserved and generally do not act with haste. These people recognise Korea as being very different, but rarely complain and when we discuss our experiences they appear more intent on understanding Korea, and their experiences, than complaining. These people strike me as both intelligent and mature, and perhaps I like them as much as I do because I feel that I can learn something from them. Perhaps if I hang around enough I might be able to sap some of their intelligence, or maybe I can leech a bit of maturity off them.

In contrast when speaking to the two individuals that I mentioned earlier, I often feel that I am dealing with dealing with two people that almost have the same maturity of children. A typical conversation with them is littered with “me’s, my’s, I’s, I don’t like this, I don’t like that”, they really rub me up the wrong way and I get nothing out of our conversations. I’m left unstimulated and I have a strong suspicion that if I spent enough time around either of the two my brain would turn to mush.

So after much thought here is my primary new years resolution, it has been strongly influenced by a number of people.

Korea is Korea: I need to accept, deal with and respect Korean culture; and I need to make a concerted effort to not merely define Korea in relation to my experiences at home.

My new years resolution will not be easy. Gaining an understanding, and coming to appreciate a foreign culture is a difficult prospect. The pay off, if I manage, though will be a happier and more mature Julian.